Microdream: Coruscant Rising (Moment of Peace)

I don't feel guilty about the past

The anger trembling

In my gut

Has calmed

Songs I thought

Would make me cry

Have me smiling like an idiot

As I walk down the street

I fall in love with strangers now

In the swift moment that our eyes meet

And we briefly bond

Over the joys and pains

We have experienced

But will never speak of

Wrapped up in the world of their eyes

A silent, fleeting bond

Irrevocable nonetheless

I forgive myself

For failing myself

For asking from you

What you were not equipped to give

No anger at you

Just compassion for your struggle

I let go of burdens

And am relieved from hate

Tears turns to laughter

Heartbreak becomes

Not a wound

But a rebuilding

My heart returns to gold

And I fly coruscant

Along the winter sky

Into the familiar arms

Of growth and healing

ON GETTING THROUGH YOUR DAY AFTER A BREAKUP

ON GETTING THROUGH YOUR DAY AFTER A BREAKUP

Go to class

Talk about philosophy

Your professor tells you that philosophy

Is the love of knowledge

Google philosophy of a breakup on your computer

Find 0 search results

Wonder what the hell philosophy is even for

Remember something about stumbling out of a cave

And seeing the light

Go to your first day of work

Fucking crush it in the meeting

Blush when everyone tells you how insightful you are

Try not to vomit because of the irony

That if you're so insightful

Why do you only realize things in hindsight

When they comment on how pale you look

Tell them it's because you drank coffee on an empty stomach

Remember how he always told you never to do that

Because he was worried about your health

And that he wants to be friends

Try not to vomit because of the irony

Prepare to vote in the upcoming political election

Think about how insincere it is for you to care about

Any issues like government spending

Because the only issue you care about

Is how efficiently and gracefully you can

Recover the emotional resources you invested

Think about how dumb it is for that to be political

See or hear about him with his new partner

Think whether or not his decision to be with them

Was a political statement or a personal insult

Realize that it's one or the other

The question burning inside is which

Remember what your supervisor said

Earlier at work today

“Everything is political”

Finally get home

Remember everything you've done in this house together

Turn out the light and crawl into the cave of your bed

Think about he could never spend the night

Because he was allergic to something in your house

Think about whether or not that was a warning

Civilization

I stand among fading columns

And a crumbling amphitheater

Spectator to the specters of

A time gone by so quickly

It feels like lifetimes ago

Passerbys with inquiring minds

Stop by and wonder

What was this for?

What did they do here?

Who built this monument?

It's such shoddy craftmanship.

How could they think this would ever

stand the test of time?

I am the only one left

With the answers to their questions

With the knowledge to unlock

ancient secrets.

With clenched fist

And heavy heart

I tell them:

This is where we fucked!

This is where we bathed together!

This is where we made promise, after promise,

after promise, after promise, on the premise

that we could love each other in the ways that we needed.

This is where our love fell down!

Where it crumbled to the floor.

Because it was built on the lie

that you could love me the way I needed

And that I could trust you to do so.

Now the history of our civilization

Sits squarely on my shoulders

Gestates in the squirming chasm

Of my gut

And for the first time

I wish I didn't have

The heart of a poet

The heart of someone who can

Spin beauty from horror

There is no beauty in this

I would rather the heart

Of an archaeologist

Or an historian

Someone who can look upon the past

And not be sad that it's over

But glad that it happened.