Clinical Depression NOS

To live in a clinical depression
Is to be entrenched in the midst
Of the polarizing opinions between
Two sides of self.

Today is going to be a good day.
Today is going to be the day that you die.

Today is the day I will feel handsome again.
Today every mirror cracks in the ugly wake of your path.

Today is the day I won't feel like I need to swallow a pill to function.
Today, you will swallow every pill that you own.

Incongruent thought processes cross perpendicular into mental crucifix.
Nail the ego here.
It is not fit to play the role of decision maker right now.
It is only bystander.
It will later be held hostage to the hostile syllables
Held at bay by the serotonin inhibitors you use
To sew your mouth shut in verbal ransom

This is the arrangement between the diseased brain
and the strained vocal cords.
Look closely.
Can you see the words crawling underneath your cheeks.

As the disease spreads, you will delude yourself
Into believing that the lack of oxygen
And forced isolation
Will give you ascetic clarification
Into how clearly obscure the world is in its design.

You live by the impaired logic of umbral understanding:

If nothing is knowable, then nothing is manageable.
If the mind is a beast, then the nature of the beast is to grow with neglect.
If I break my hands, then I won't hurt myself again.

This is wrong.
This is comfort.
This is dangerous.
This is comfort.
This will kill you.
This is comfort.
This is wrong.
This is so much easier than doing what is right.
It is comforting to relinquish one's self into the hollow rites of depression.
It is wrong.

Today is gone and it wasn't your day.
But tomorrow is a new day altogether.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Tomorrow I am going to feel handsome again.
Tomorrow I won't feel like I need to swallow a pill to function.

Your ego watches from on the cross.
It is no longer bystander.
It is hostage
To hostile
Syllables.