We are before and after
On the mirror edge
Of time and space
Of gene and code
And chromosome
We a closed loop
A dragon swallowing
His own tail
A story told
Over and oral
Spiraling
Inside of time
Outside of control
A glitch in the message
Forms a bubble of half-truths
To burst from our vague belief
I am not the son or daughter you wanted
But I am the son or daughter you got
Bred into a lesson to be learned
Raised into a mistake not to be
repeated
As I watched you love
So I learned the lesson
As I watched you break
So I learned to piece myself together
again
The first time a man broke my heart you
told me:
“Your capacity to forgive is far
stronger
Than any harm a man could cause you.”
A bubbling half-truth
Mom.
You forgot to tell me that I didn't
need to go around
trying to prove that to myself.
But I think you forgot to tell yourself
the same thing.
I have never had a man
Stand over me with a knife
In his hand yelling about
How he won't be played
Like a small child
While he throws
A temper tantrum
Like a small child
How you told me
At the core
Of every small child
Is someone who needs to be held
You were never around to hold me
Like Madonna held her child
You just checked in on me
Every now and again
To give me advice
Even as I try to move further from your
way of life
I am pulled back closer to you
Like Eve to Adam's rib
We are bound
By genetic purpose
To achieve the same fate
Spiraling into control.
But I am hoping
Through glitch and half-truth
To break the system
Undo our programming
Because further along in the origin
Someone convinced us
That the only thing worth living for in
this life
Was the struggle of being loved
I am tired of struggling.
Break my rib. Cough up blood. Gasp for
air.
You gave birth to me.
But I will teach you how
To be born
Again.
