Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Microdream: Coruscant Rising (Moment of Peace)

I don't feel guilty about the past
The anger trembling
In my gut
Has calmed

Songs I thought
Would make me cry
Have me smiling like an idiot
As I walk down the street

I fall in love with strangers now
In the swift moment that our eyes meet
And we briefly bond
Over the joys and pains
We have experienced
But will never speak of
Wrapped up in the world of their eyes
A silent, fleeting bond
Irrevocable nonetheless

I forgive myself
For failing myself
For asking from you
What you were not equipped to give
No anger at you
Just compassion for your struggle

I let go of burdens
And am relieved from hate
Tears turns to laughter
Heartbreak becomes
Not a wound
But a rebuilding
My heart returns to gold
And I fly coruscant
Along the winter sky
Into the familiar arms
Of growth and healing

Monday, January 25, 2016

ON GETTING THROUGH YOUR DAY AFTER A BREAKUP

ON GETTING THROUGH YOUR DAY AFTER A BREAKUP

Go to class
Talk about philosophy
Your professor tells you that philosophy
Is the love of knowledge
Google philosophy of a breakup on your computer
Find 0 search results
Wonder what the hell philosophy is even for
Remember something about stumbling out of a cave
And seeing the light

Go to your first day of work
Fucking crush it in the meeting
Blush when everyone tells you how insightful you are
Try not to vomit because of the irony
That if you're so insightful
Why do you only realize things in hindsight
When they comment on how pale you look
Tell them it's because you drank coffee on an empty stomach
Remember how he always told you never to do that
Because he was worried about your health
And that he wants to be friends
Try not to vomit because of the irony

Prepare to vote in the upcoming political election
Think about how insincere it is for you to care about
Any issues like government spending
Because the only issue you care about
Is how efficiently and gracefully you can
Recover the emotional resources you invested
Think about how dumb it is for that to be political

See or hear about him with his new partner
Think whether or not his decision to be with them
Was a political statement or a personal insult
Realize that it's one or the other
The question burning inside is which
Remember what your supervisor said
Earlier at work today
“Everything is political”

Finally get home
Remember everything you've done in this house together
Turn out the light and crawl into the cave of your bed
Think about he could never spend the night
Because he was allergic to something in your house
Think about whether or not that was a warning

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Civilization

I stand among fading columns
And a crumbling amphitheater
Spectator to the specters of
A time gone by so quickly
It feels like lifetimes ago
Passerbys with inquiring minds
Stop by and wonder

What was this for?
What did they do here?
Who built this monument?
It's such shoddy craftmanship.
How could they think this would ever
stand the test of time?

I am the only one left
With the answers to their questions
With the knowledge to unlock
ancient secrets.
With clenched fist
And heavy heart
I tell them:

This is where we fucked!
This is where we bathed together!
This is where we made promise, after promise,
after promise, after promise, on the premise
that we could love each other in the ways that we needed.

This is where our love fell down!
Where it crumbled to the floor.
Because it was built on the lie
that you could love me the way I needed
And that I could trust you to do so.

Now the history of our civilization
Sits squarely on my shoulders
Gestates in the squirming chasm
Of my gut
And for the first time
I wish I didn't have
The heart of a poet
The heart of someone who can
Spin beauty from horror
There is no beauty in this
I would rather the heart
Of an archaeologist
Or an historian
Someone who can look upon the past
And not be sad that it's over
But glad that it happened.







Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Microdream // Grey

A black man asks me for money
So he can buy a fish sandwich from Captain D's
With a practiced tone I respond

"I'm sorry dude, but I have no cash on me."

In spite of his hunger
Or because of it
He lashes out
To provide a criticism
Often heard
And never forgotten

"You sound just like one of those white boys."

He walks off
As my beautiful, ugly body
Wilts in the dusky, summer heat
Torn between this world of black and white
With a voice white as snow
And skin as black as ash
I walk back to the bars
Down the grey, forgotten corridor
Between identity and isolation


Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Confederate Comparison (Elegy for Three)

We are gathered here today
To reflect on the cognitive dissonance
that allowed a flag the benefit of
the doubt not afforded to black lives
The benefit of being judged for the
content of its character and not
the color of its fabric.

Its permutation of red, white, and blue
Is a gross misrepresentation of the subdued
heritage stitched into its cloth.
A legacy of Negro men and women
whose black skin baked like Confederate clay
in the Georgia heat as they picked the cotton
That financed the Southern pride that
That flag clings to.

See what we have here
Is an example of a history
That has been weaponized
A stretching of the truth
A narrative that has been bent
Into a convenient badge of honor
To the deny the horror of its origin.

I can assure you
That the last exhalation of breath
That carried Eric Garner
From this world to the next
Drifted into the wind
That allows that flag to fly
So freely over your
state capitols, your churches,
And in the back of pickup trucks
Like a tacky souvenir
That you should have never
Bought in the first place.

I can assure you
That while Freddie Gray's spine
Was severed from his body
That flag was standing tall and proud
Supported by the stubborn rhetoric
That the war was about the states' right to choose.
How convenient then that that same bullshit rhetoric
Forgets or ignores what the states were choosing
in the first place.
The right to dehumanize and an enslave
An entire race of people.

But I guess
When your skin is the same color
As the skin that baked in that Georgia heat
The same color as the skin whose fingers picked
that cotton.
You are not allowed the luxury of forgetting
or the privilege of ignoring.
Not allowed the benefit of the doubt
to be judged by the content of your character.



Monday, June 29, 2015

Microdream // Marriage

Over the horizon we watch them marching
The white they wear co-mingling into a flaxen flood
Surging off into a sea of progress and equality
Lily petals and dove feathers dance with a frenetic grace
Around their bodies like cosmic confetti

In the distance we stand on the fringe
Arms linked not in matrimony
But in morbid curiosity
Bonded by a different love

Hoping that this ceremony heralds a beginning
And that their love will not be the end of us.

Microdream // Egg

A skilled chef expertly cracks an egg with one hand
With the same hand, he opens the egg
And spills the protean yolk
Onto the sizzling pan

How convenient it would be
To be able to crack, split, and spill
An egg deftly with one hand

So I try

My underdog effort fills in as an ersatz substitute
For the expertise of a trained chef
I crack the egg but as I try to split it open
Shards of ivory shell crunch into my fingernails
And the viscous yellow drips along my sable fingers

This is not the protein I meant to spill on my hand today
Funny how yesterday
I dreaded the birth of this day
As if it were a dark black tongue dripping heavy like tar
Into the back of my throat

Yet today
The only thing I have to worry about
Is this egg I tried to break
For this loser's breakfast