Pendulum Clock

I am just like everyone else
That's a truth I can't escape
On dark nights when the cliche clings so heavy to my bones
And I think I could have changed things if only I had known
I've always known where you were waiting for me to crawl back to you
Every time you made true on your promise to walk away
But I never wanted to go back to that place bright
With the knowing that today is the day
I wasn't ready to walk into the light
I see it every time I look into your eyes
And the way it reflects the way I'm revealed to you
When the pretense has faded
And I'm left naked in your gaze like a book opened for the first time
I don't know how to react to being read so easily
You know I recoil when you get too close
You're not supposed to know everything that goes on in the pages of my story just yet
I'm scared you'll use it against me when the ink of my secrets has been bled
Dry like your demeanor when I'm scared to laugh at your humor
But when your ribcage is made of glass you'd be scared to laugh too
I keep myself busy making room for the personality traits you'd find undesirable
Like seeing if my depressive tendencies and irrational anxieties could share closet space
But you walked in too soon for me to move the skeletons blocking the way
You know I won't take it personally if you drop me flat like a note you've been holding for too long
Footsteps banging on the ground like the hammers on piano keys
Hammering me into pieces so my eyes can't see you running
Like the window of opportunity is only as wide as a door lock
When my mood swings on the pendulum of that offbeat clock
I had locked away in my freezer
I was trying to freeze time to give me more time to accommodate your tastes
But time is not given and time is not taken
And people are never taken for granted as long as we need them to be
You keep walking in on the soliloquy I go over before I meet you on the stage
I've always been too scared to improve my improv
I'd like to think I perform better on page
I need a script for this
A relationship bible
Where every verse and chapter is full of the right things to say at the right time
Like when your uncle died and I thought it was your grandfather
That's the kind of awkward conversation I'd like maneuver around
Before my tongue crashes in the back of my throat and I can't make any coherent sounds
I can't always get into the swing of things so I always try to prepare
So all I'm asking from you, so that my chances will at least be fair
Are deep breaths, a little bit of space, and a lot of time
And maybe if you wait long enough a black hole will open up in front of us
I heard a black hole has the ability to freeze time better than a freezer ever could
And a romantic told me that that could be the best place to love someone
I'm too practical for that
I think it'd be the best place to place an offbeat pendeuum clock
Then I could have all the time I needed
I might even have time to actually talk