Sunday, June 16, 2013

Athens, A Ghost



One night I had a particularly tough time falling asleep
My bed was either too hot or too cool or too cluttered or
too stained...by...imagination
By the time my internal clock felt it was the right time
To give me away to the comfort of dream
It was as close to bliss as my short life has ever known
But as one door closes
Another opens and this one brought a visitor
Her name is unknown but
When I heard her voice
I swear she was the patron goddess
Of cheap rent and hipster crawl
College distraction, and nighttime paralysis
She said:
"I will never leave you
This will always be your home
You will never leave me
Here to stay"
It's weird the way words work
Depending on whose mouth they come from
They can be liberators
Or prisoner
I am not exactly sure
Why her voice was so effective at holding me down
But all I know
Is that when I tried to get up
My wrists and ankles were bound
By something whose name is older
Than I could never know
And as she breathed
More life into anxieties long since laid to stone
I know that her words are the narratives of so many people
I have met
Like a mother and father explaining to their son
That them being 13 years to early
Will always end up with him being 13 years too late
When the gates come crashing down
Telling him that with two part-time jobs and no degree between them
Any hope of their rocky foundation being smoothed over to something more stable
Will always be covered with bills
Fast forward 6 years later
And he is doing the best he can
To unbecome what reflex creates
To become his own
And leave this land
But it takes less muscle to stay
Than to go
And all he wants is to go
And see if there is better music in another town

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