Athens, A Ghost

One night I had a particularly tough time falling asleep

My bed was either too hot or too cool or too cluttered or

too stained...by...imagination

By the time my internal clock felt it was the right time

To give me away to the comfort of dream

It was as close to bliss as my short life has ever known

But as one door closes

Another opens and this one brought a visitor

Her name is unknown but

When I heard her voice

I swear she was the patron goddess

Of cheap rent and hipster crawl

College distraction, and nighttime paralysis

She said:

"I will never leave you

This will always be your home

You will never leave me

Here to stay"

It's weird the way words work

Depending on whose mouth they come from

They can be liberators

Or prisoner

I am not exactly sure

Why her voice was so effective at holding me down

But all I know

Is that when I tried to get up

My wrists and ankles were bound

By something whose name is older

Than I could never know

And as she breathed

More life into anxieties long since laid to stone

I know that her words are the narratives of so many people

I have met

Like a mother and father explaining to their son

That them being 13 years to early

Will always end up with him being 13 years too late

When the gates come crashing down

Telling him that with two part-time jobs and no degree between them

Any hope of their rocky foundation being smoothed over to something more stable

Will always be covered with bills

Fast forward 6 years later

And he is doing the best he can

To unbecome what reflex creates

To become his own

And leave this land

But it takes less muscle to stay

Than to go

And all he wants is to go

And see if there is better music in another town