Three years encapsulate the tragic chronology
We are stretched thin over a timeline of romanticized destruction
Like a volcano erupting from the ground
We love the release of pressure
The catharsis binds us to self-harming addiction
I was a sunset when I met you.
Be careful when you love someone who hates themselves Biblically
It will never be a fair fight
When God is on their side
They poured scriptures into you
Told you that your descending weight was the burden of sin leaving your body
Your increased self-hatred was your moral compass pinpointing the islands
Isolating you from the wholeness of God's plan
They convinced you that your sexuality is an impulse
To be controlled by the vapid life of restriction
You are a damaged, unnatural wonder
Who can only be restored by holding your insecurities tightly
As reminders that your body is a cage
Your mind is a master manipulator
Your soul is nothing but a child who got rejected by his father far too many times
Yes, you have been scarred by church
Yet, you believe they can pray the pain away
It is hard to watch you offer yourself up
As a sacrifice to the complex martyrdom
Of self-denial
I understand this life is hard
To be who we are in a heteronormative society
Is to consistently be considered lesser
And to believe that your passing privilege
Will persuade God's wrath to pass over your
doorstep when judgment day comes
And save you from burning in the hell
You created
All I have ever wanted
Was to show you how beautiful the sky looks when bruised by the sun
And that people can still be beautiful after
They have been damaged too
The delusion of saving you has fled from my mind
Attempting your rescue paints the sunset back into my bones
The light I thought I saw in you
Was merely the rising reflection of mine
Recognizing that when I washed my hands of you
and passed over the dark night of your departing shadow
I had become the sunrise.
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